Who needs lies when the truth is so much more fun - Captain James T Hook
The Chinese are fearing a long recession and this has triggered - not a frenzied selling of stocks and shares, not a sudden upsurge of people demanding their money in full from the banks, but of a sudden increase in the amount of people who are...... making enquiries about divorce settlements.
Good God - First we had the pre-nup, now we have the recession divorce. What happened to for better or for worse. That should really be amended to say For better of for the life of your stocks and shares at their highest yield point.
A spokesperson for Shanghai Weiqing, China's first Marriage and finance firm says "Many questions are about how to avoid paying off debts after the divorce and the number of such telephone inquiries has increased from 200 to 300 in recent months."
And according to a story carried on the China News Service website (www.chinanews.com), the number of people seeking divorce advice increased by 30 percent in the second half of this year.
Obviously, what they need to be doing is not thinking about money, but thinking about nookie!!
Thats right, (and stick with me cause this does come good!!) - do you remember at school when the teacher droned on and on and on about demographics, and how there was a baby boom in the 70's? Thats because of the apalling state of the economy and the constant power and heating cuts - what is there to do in the dark and the cold with no television? Well, mum and dad would jump into bed, have a bit of hows your father and hey presto, nine months later, sprog or sprogita would be born.
Now, based on the above I have formulated a theory for kick-starting the economy.
1. See above. Engage in much of
2. Buy cheap Pregnancy test and use
3. Panic. Wildly. don't file for divorce like the chinese.
4. Go out and buy half the contents of mothercare.
Multiply the above by the vast majority of the population of Britain and Bob's your uncle, fanny's your aunt - the economy is back to it's lardy, over invested, up to the eyeballs in debt self. Just how we like it.
Move over Alistair Darling!!!
Laters
